Today I received an e-mail of the past from Daisy's former mom. I was in Peet's when I opened it. I let out a whoop of laughter when I saw the attached photo of Daisy at three months of age, when she was purchased from Petland, which acquired her from an Iowa puppy mill. Her owner had discovered this photo when sorting through things during a move.

When you adopt adult dogs you always wonder what they looked like as pups. Now I know what Daisy looked like. She was always a beautiful dog with a long, waggly tail. She was just the kind of puppy people fall in love with at a pet shop.  When I saw the photo, though, I thought Deja Vu!   It explains a lot. Evidently, mine wasn't the only hand Daisy gnawed on, and she got an early start at it. That, of course, is not a good lesson to teach puppies. Humans should never be mistaken for chew toys.

In the photo she has that same strange, glazed look in her eyes she always got whenever she exhibited her bad behaviors, and I don't think it was due to any fault of the camera lens. I now am certain that she suffered from something called "rage syndrome," a rare, inherited neurological disorder common in English Cocker Spaniels and Springer Spaniels. This was why she would go off unpredictably. I had no idea of the reason behind her outbursts while I owned her, but I did understand she was quite a few biscuits shy of a full box. Even if I had sought advice from a dog screamer (not a whisperer), I doubt it would have helped with this problem since the cause was faulty wiring in her brain. Thanks be to all the greedy, irresponsible breeders who continue to reproduce and sell dogs with this dangerous disorder to an unsuspecting public. 

Of course, right after I laughed at seeing the photo of the naughty little puppy I never knew, I felt that familiar stab of pain and loss in my heart for my crazy old girl.  Even if she was a nut bag, I loved her all the same. I miss her and think of her often. Love is blind, deaf, and has no fingers.

I am certain that a space is reserved for me at Rainbow Bridge for having lasted with Daisy for the remainder of her life. I'm glad to have this photo of her. There are more to come, I'm told.